Friday, August 22, 2008

I've Been Tagged

Rules of Engagement:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post rules on your blog (copy and paste 1-6).
3. Write 6 random things about yourself.
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

6 very random, not easily known, facts about me:

1) I bruise like a peach. Why? I’m not sure. It most likely has to do with the fact that I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding non-stop for 3-1/2 years. My theory is that giving and sustaining new life for 3-1/2 years without hiatus has caused my tissue to become rather delicate. When my husband gets lippy with me I threaten to turn him in for spousal abuse. I find this to be a very manageable way for me to keep him in check.

2) I am a disaster in the kitchen. Unfortunately for him, my husband had to show me how a kitchen aid works. I don’t think he realized that was in his future when he asked for my hand. I try and remind him that ‘when life hands you lemons, make lemonade’. His retort is "Would you even know how to make fresh lemonade?" To remedy this source of contention, I recently invested in some 'Barefoot Contessa' cook books. She is on the food network and I love her. She makes beautiful, yet simple dishes that even I can seem to manage. To my surprise she even has a recipe for fresh lemonade. I borrowed my mom's lemonade squeezer, but haven't had the energy to use it yet. Maybe next summer. She has been a godsend to our household and my husband will be forever indebted to her. A running joke in my home is that if we are not careful, I will be his “Barefoot & Pregnant Contessa” as my husband has VERY strong swimmers. I told him the other night that his little friends could probably swim circles around Michael Phelps (The world record Olympic gold medalist for swimming for those of you who are not following the Olympics). I have informed him in no uncertain terms that his swimmers are not welcome to swim upstream in my waters at this point in time (refer to fun fact #1). I need a break!

3) I dance like the stereotypical white girl. Actually, probably worse, if you can even begin to imagine. If any of you are Seinfeld fans, you could probably compare my moves to those of Elaine! I have abnormally long limbs that have a mind of their own and they flail about uncontrollably. Probably another reason why I have so many bruises (refer to fun fact #1).

4) I have a little girl and a little boy whom I adore. I refer to my babies as my two little “treasures.” Unfortunately, lately I have used that term more sarcastically than sincerely. Some instances when I have used it sarcastically are when they are throwing a fit during bath/shower time. You see, I am trying to teach my “treasures” the benefits of good personal hygiene, but they don’t seem to appreciate it quite like I do. Another example of a sarcastic “treasure moment” is when I am trying to watch something other than Curious George, Clifford the Big Red Dog or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and they seem to think they need to be louder than the TV in order to get my attention. Yet another instance when it is used sarcastically is when I am trying to have a conversation with my husband and their sweet little “angelic” voices get about 5 octaves higher than they need to be. God forbid I should have a conversation that doesn’t include them! Some examples of sincere “treasure moments” are of course when they are sleeping or some poor soul has offered to baby-sit to give me a couple of hours of blessed relief. Then, on my way to pick them up after a much needed break, I am anxious to see my little “treasures”. Another example is when my husband comes home after a 10 hour day and I can sit back with a nightly cognac or mixed drink and observe him interacting with our little “treasures.” I just love seeing the look of pure enjoyment on his face! Ok, maybe that was a little sarcastic. Sorry! In all seriousness, I really do adore them, but I suffer from severe exasperation (and apparently Tourette Syndrome...refer to fun fact #5) at times. Why? Refer to fun fact #1. I need a break!

5) Certain swear words tend to make me laugh. I don’t swear often out loud (usually just when I hurt myself really badly or one of my little “treasures” gets hurt) and I have really kept those words to a minimum since my daughter is on speaking terms now, but I will admit to swearing quite often in my head. Every once in a while one will slip out and my husband is convinced I suffer from Tourette Syndrome. My favorite 7 letter word is jack-a**. I don’t know why, but this word totally cracks me up. The next time you are assaulted by an aggressive driver or someone is tailing you or cuts you off, just call them a jack-a** and you will totally start laughing. Try it…it’ll take the edge off.

6) When my youngest was only 12 weeks old, my husband left for a week to play golf in Arizona (golf is his mistress) and some people would be shocked to know I made myself a good stiff drink at noon one day about half way through the week. Rest assured, that is the first and only time I have ever done that, but Lord have mercy, I was at my wits end with my little “treasures” (refer to fun fact #4) and when I started calling my husband names (refer to fun fact #5) I knew it was time for an intervention. I also knew that it was 5:00 somewhere and that was all the justification I needed at the time. Don't judge me, just love me. You all know you would have done the same thing had you been in my shoes. I’m just honest enough to admit it :) Desperate times call for desperate measures!! If you are ever left home alone for a week with a high maintenance 2 year old and a 12 week old, try it…it’ll take the edge off.

7) I crave sleeping pills. Nothing hard core like prescription sleeping pills…just a good old fashioned Tylenol PM or two! I haven’t been able to take a sleeping pill in 3-1/2 years (refer to fun fact #1) and I have to admit I miss those little rapid release gels. I guess it’s a good thing you can’t take them when you are pregnant or nursing, otherwise I probably wouldn’t hear my little “treasures” when they wake me up 2-3 times a night! Uh-oh, another sarcastic “treasure moment!”

8) I am passionate about jazz hands, apothecary jars (I still have an insatiable appetite for these), cake plates and my latest craze: pedestal bowls. I am currently on the hunt for a white pedestal bowl with a scalloped edge. The one and only reservation I have about finding one is coming up with a credible story that my husband will fall for once another beautiful, yet unnecessary embellishment for the home shows up at my front door.

9) I love reading, writing and photography. I have taken thousands of pictures of my little treasures and my husband is convinced I am torturing them when he is not home. I keep trying to reassure him that someday they will LOVE to look back on these pictures, as will their spouses, but he is doubtful. He thinks I am causing more harm than good. I promised him that when I go back to work I am willing to work overtime in order to pay for the hours and hours of therapy they will require to sort through traumas of their childhoods.

10) My best friend in the whole world is my sister. We even have friendship rings like Oprah and Gayle, but we don’t wear ours on our pinkies…just our ring fingers. That is another little known fact about me…I am not a huge fan of pinky rings. However, if Oprah bought me a diamond eternity band like the one she bought for Gayle, and she wanted me to wear it on my pinky, I TOTALLY would!!! She would receive no argument from me. I might even have a miraculous change of heart regarding pinky rings.

Ok, I went way over my limit of 6 random facts (wow, those are some REALLY random things about me), but as I started, I discovered there’s all kinds of interesting trivia about me. I could have chosen to bore you with some mundane facts about me, such as my migraine headaches, minor backaches and occasional bouts of constipation, but I tried to make it somewhat interesting and light. Sorry if some of it sounded sarcastic. I once learned that sarcasm is the result of unresolved anger. I don’t really feel angry right now…just silly and in need of a good chuckle at myself. Hopefully I didn’t offend anyone.

I think most of my fellow bloggers have already been tagged so I am going to choose 6 random names. If anyone with these names should happen to read my blog and wish to respond, then by all means, please do!

1) Yolanda
2) Shaniqua
3) Charmaine
4) Beatrice
5) Eunice
6) Phyllis