Bizarre Dream

Since I have been pregnant I have had some really horrifying dreams. I don't usually remember any of my dreams when I'm not pregnant, but during this pregnancy I have had a tough time with really awful nightmares. They are too horrifying to recount, but one had to do with Berkeley, one with Oliver and one with Sterling. I usually wake up completely drenched in sweat with my heart racing. Then I have to trudge downstairs and self-soothe with some sort of chocolate morsel(s) in order to get my mind off of what I just experienced in my nightmare. Last night, however, I finally had a really amusing and bizarre dream that is too funny not to share...

We were all (Chris, Laura, Tom and I) over at my mom and dad's house for either mother's day or my mom's birthday and my dad had hired Toby Keith to sing some songs for her on her special day. I don't think she even knows who Toby Keith is in real life, but in my dream she was absolutely enamored with him. Anyway, everyone was outside Bar-B-Qing and I happened to walk in the house and discovered my mother making out with Toby Keith. As you can imagine I freaked out and ran back outside and told my dad. His response was to shrug his shoulders and say "Well, she thinks his tractor's sexy." I stood there, mouth agape, completely dumbfounded and said "Excuse me?" And then all of a sudden the lights dimmed and spot lights shone on us and we were all on Broadway. We broke out into song and dance and started singing the country song "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney. If you haven't heard that song the chorus goes like this:

"She thinks my tractor's sexy

It really turns her on

She's always staring at me

While I'm chuggin' along"

Side Note: I think if Keith Urban or Kenny Chesney were hired to perform for my mom and she was caught making out with either of them I'd say "Yeah Mom!!!" I think Keith and Kenny are both sexy. Not as sexy as my husband, mind you, but sexy nonetheless :)

Now, I'm not sure which is more disturbing to me...the fact that my 60 year old mother was making out with Toby Ketih or the fact that my brother-in-law broke out into song and dance with the rest of us, complete with jazz hands!!! I think they are equally distressing and every time I see Chris I am going to think of that song and ask him to do his jazz hands for me! He will just love that. I'm sure I'll receive an enormouse eye roll! I'm not going to share this dream with my mom since she would probably be highly offended that she was making out with another man even though it was just a dream. We'll just keep it between me, and, well, all of you. I'd like to think she hasn't made out since her honeymoon. The very thought of two 60 year olds doing that is enough to wreak havoc on my digestion and causes me to come dangerously close to losing my lunch! If anyone out there is reading this and happens to be 60 and enjoys that activity, my sincerest apologies. More power to you! But please, for the love of all that is good and holy, don't let your kids catch you :)