An Update on Laura

Since it has been 3 months since my sister has posted anything regarding her present state, I have decided to take matters into my own hands and give you all a much needed and well deserved update on her pregnancy! She is doing really well. The first few months were pretty unpleasant since she was nauseous the whole time. She never actually threw up, but wished she would just to make that nasty feeling go away. Although, I’m not sure that the nausea actually goes away when a pregnant woman throws up…I’ve heard it lasts all day long. I never had any of that so I’m (thankfully) in the dark on that subject! She is still working full time at Gene Juarez and making the world a more beautiful place one haircut at a time.

She is finally starting to get a cute little pooch and is feeling lots of movement! She is due 7 weeks from this Thursday! The next time I see her I will force her to pose for me so I can get a picture of her little bump. Speaking of bumps…her “cups” runneth over if you know what I mean!!! I’ll try to get a picture of those too. We both agree that while it is fun in the beginning to have such a substantial bosom, over time they become unmanageable and cumbersome and are a bit overrated! I’m not sure how Dolly Parton and Pamela Anderson run around with those things, but they certainly seem to get a kick out of them, so more power to them I suppose!

Laura is going to kill me, but I have a story that is too hilarious not to tell. She was doing some shopping at Fred Meyer the other day, when she suddenly had the urge to sneeze. What she didn’t realize, is that when you’re pregnant, something as mundane as sneezing can turn disastrous if unprepared. After sneezing, she was mortified to discover that she had a little trickle of tinkle running down her leg! She had a warm up suit on (in my mind I’m imaging something similar to that brown velour ensemble that accompanies Jess on all her vacations), and had no way of hiding her transgression! She called me and I reassured her that it happens to EVERY pregnant woman. At least I hope it does, otherwise I’m really embarrassed now too. I think there should be a new motto for pregnant women…you know how firefighters have the catchy phrase STOP, DROP and ROLL for people to prepare themselves in a fire? Well, I think we should start a phrase for women who are carrying the weight of an unborn child on top of their bladders: STOP, SQUEEZE, then SNEEZE! Kind of corny, but hey, it might help prevent these types of unfortunate mishaps in the future for women nationwide!

The other night I received a phone call around 9 pm. When I answered the phone all I heard was “Lisa, I have cankles!” Laura had 11 clients two days in a row (which is quite a load), and during her last haircut all she wanted to do was kick off her shoes, but refrained due to the fear that she wouldn’t be able to get them back on again. Lucky for her, Genie Baby doesn’t allow his employees to wear anything other than pants, so no one will ever be the wiser! At her last check-up, her Dr. encouraged her to sit down for 2 hrs. everyday to reduce the swelling. Unfortunately, Genie Baby also has a policy preventing employees from taking 2 hour lunch breaks. In my opinion, and I think you all will agree with me, Laura is the only person on the planet that can have urine covered cankles and still be completely and utterly adorable!